Behold ...shaken and lowerest ...crawling of heart ...fearing of the world ..all measures of matters ...

     and evenso against myself in all things ...and before God my father and my brother Jesus ...weeping ...of heart ...for of all things i could bear no more ...as the words and works of world ...and mine own thinking and own heart of unworthiness ...did trouble me sore ...

     and i could not stand any more ...and i grieved as though my soul moaned ...and layed there ...of fear to even look any more to anything of the world ...or any word ...of the world ...

     for a word of the world would catch me...catch my eye ...or ear ...and if i would just keep it for a moment ...another unworthy word would be added to ...then a sentence ...the paragraph ...then page ..and then whole measures of the matters of the world would over take me ...into darkness ...and hopelessness ...and i hated it ...and then hate taking advantage ...the more complaining ...before God my father and Christ Jesus my brother ...

     and the complaints were the worse ...and the worse ...became utter darkness ...and i was as though dead ...of grief ...and fear ..and unworthiness ...that i "felt" ...in "Mine own heart" ...

     for even so ...like poor Peter ...of his heart not wanting Jesus to leave and to to be crucified ...of his own heart ...of his own heart ...he said ...to Jesus that he need not go to the crucifixion ...and to this Jesus answered him ...Get behind me Satan ...

     GET behind me Satan ...wow !! ...such as our own hearts ...are ...if not mended by Jesus unto God our father ...that our fathers will be known ...

     and i say and i hope unto God my father and Jesus that i need not ...not ...to know the depths of Peters pain ...even as he wept the more denying Jesus ...three times later ...

     such a thing might be too much for me ...

     Evenso ...i felt of pain and wretched unthankfullness within mineself ...so deeply that i ...accused myself ...saying if Moses struck the rock for water for the flesh ...too many times against the plain simple will of God through Jesus ...then i have of unthankfullness ...beaten it to powder ...evenso hating the world so much and the bondage thereof ...of the flesh ... could not bear it ...any more ...and i prayed most earnestly ...of broken heart ...and bended knees thereof for ...relief ..of pain and hurt and fear of heart and head and soul ...

     and seemed Jesus gave me prayer ...and i said ...of myself i have no hope ...and all that is in or of the world i have no hope either ...and so it is Jesus ...my brother that of all things ...all and every each thing ...even any and all measures of matters ...all i lay at your feet ...and that wrapped only in all my hope ...all my hope and i have held nothing back ...no hope at all left of mine own ...all my hope is in you ...Jesus ...that mine father God might hear my hope and prayer ...

     and in and instant ...i was taken ...and standing ...and all before me was black ...darkest deepest ...void of any light ...and all roundabout the same ...that there be nothing of any light whatsoever ...

     and then faint light came ...and only enough that with in the deep blackness ...an thing could be seen ...

     and the thing was foursquare and rising ...in the very midst of the darkness that seemed without end ...of and from the very center rose this foursquare object ...evenso i could only faintly see it ...for the darkness was so great ...

     Then in an instant ...came a flash of purest light ..like unto a lightning bolt ...yet remained ...and not as a lightning bolt that comes in a flash and then is seen no more ...

     save this light ...as it was lightning stayed ...and struck ...perfectly in the center of the top of the foursquare object ...that had risen out of the darkness ...

     and Behold i looked ...and in an instant ...there was a helmet ...a glistening ...shining ...brilliant ..perfect helmet ...exactly in the center of the foursquare ...that had risen out of the darkness ...

     and so beautifull was this helmet ...and perfect in all ways ...that i was astounded !!! and agape of mouth ....

     evenso in another instant i was taken close unto the helmet and the foursquare that it appeared on ...and the closer i looked the more astounded i was ...of its perfectness ...and of the metal of it i wondered ...for i had never seen such a metal as the helmet was made of ...

     and it was shown me that the metal of the helmet was fashioned of God ...and that nothing ...nothing of man ...could damage it ...neither dent it or even so much as scratch it ...or even the slightest nick ...could any thing of man or of the world affect the helmet ...

     and i was the more astounded ...for i was allowed to pick it up ...and to look at it the closer ....

     and behold when i looked inside ..i did see a measure of matters that comforted the wearer of the helmet ...and the comfort of the helmet was also fashioned of God ...so that any that might wear the helmet ...would be in perfect comfort ...no doubt ...

     and the more ...for it was given me to put the helmet on mine head ...and i was the more astounded ...at being allowed ...

     now as i put the helmet on mine head ...i did suddenly know of the comfort and the protection thereof ...and of this i was so pleased ...it seemed mine heart wept tears of joy ...and thankfullness ...

     Yet in an instant the more ...for in the moment that i had known the comfort and protection of the helmet ...and whole armor appeared ...and covered me ...first shoulder's ...then breastplate ...then arms ...hands ...girding of mine loins ...covered me from ...helmet on down ...even to mine feet ...

     all fashioned the same and perfect in protection and perfect in comfort ...

     the full armor of God ...my father ...even as it is written ...Jesus had said ...and given me prayer ...